When my Motherhood takes a beating

I've worked hard, very hard, at this Mommy thing.  I knew I wanted to be a mother since even before I knew I wanted to be married.  When I was a child, I would watch mothers and take LOTS of mental notes. While in college, I struggled with majors because I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom and I couldn't find a degree (at the college I attended) best suited for the job.  I decided long ago that I would work to be the best mother I could possibly be.  So when I actually became a mother, the one thing I never imagined happening was that my heart would be so tender to all words spoken about my children or about me as a mother.  It took me years to learn how to stand up for myself; to develop confidence in myself as a mother.  For years I struggled with this and it was easy for many seasoned mothers to see this in me and take advantage of my timidity.  I remember the first time a seasoned mother made me cry.  She was my coworker at a preschool and, while I cared for the two year olds, she cared for the babies.  My eldest was in her class and no matter what I said to her, she always knew what was better for him.  If I said to snuggle him a certain way, she would snuggle him an entirely different way, then tell me just how wonderfully it worked and that my way didn't ever work.  This one day, as I struggled with her over something else regarding my sons care, she looked right at me and said, "You don't have a mother, do you?"  My jaw dropped.  Of course I have a mother.  In fact, I have several mothers; well, women who inspire me, helped to raise me, and who love me. I have great women in my life and they each taught me different things about being a wife, mother, housekeeper, chef, financial manager, etc.  She saw my lack of confidence and assumed I didn't have a wonderful role model.  Well, years went by and over the years I grew in my confidence as a mother.  I have stood up to people for my kids.  I have confronted people for my kids.  I have made decisions for my kids and dealt with confrontation from others who don't agree with my decisions.  So lately I've been feeling pretty confident as a mother, not prideful, just confident.  Until recently.  My motherhood took a beating.  Won't go into the details but something was said directly to me that translated disapproval of the way I manage my kids and that hurt.  I found myself having to lift my jaw off the table again.  I felt like that new mom again who lacked confidence and radiated timidity.  I was hurt.  Moving beyond this is so hard.  It's not forgiveness I'm struggling with because I forgive the person who said these things to me.  It's that my heart hurts and that's not an easy thing to mend.  All the nicest things in the world could be said to me today and it still wouldn't mend my wounded heart.  My heart possess a tenderness when it comes to my kids and the smallest jab, intentional or not, is painful.  So what now?  I'm just trying to keep my chin up and keep moving forward.  My Motherhood took a beating but still my kids are joyful, happy, loving, generous, passionate, friendly, smart, helpful kids.  And I sure do love them.

When you dip, I dip, we dip...

Anybody remember that late 90's song Da' Dip?  Well I do and I'm pretty sure it is what inspired the title of a minister's sermon that my husband heard a few years back in grad school.  It was titled, "When you move, I move, we move."

So I don't talk much about homeschool not because I don't have anything to say but rather because I have entirely too much to say.  However, you won't ever hear me say "it's for everyone" or "everyone needs to homeschool their kids."  Because the truth is, it's not for everyone.  It takes a very unique family to thrive in a homeschool environment.  And we, my friends, are a very close weird unique family.  Anyway, back to the song...

So we had been thinking through our mission statement.  Wow, a mission statement for our school/family?  That has been tough.  It was a little easier to come up with our motto.  Whew.  We decided it would be this sermon title, "When you move, I move, we move."  See our family loves to move together (as do many families).  We love to serve together.  We love to be together.  So that's why this is the perfect motto for us.

And if you decide to Google the song, warning, it's not only catchy, some of the lyrics are not appropriate for all ears!

Tangible Jesus

One of the best, most recent parenting tip I read was to tell your kids what Jesus is like, not just about Jesus.  Explaining Jesus to children is so hard but when you use something tangible, it helps them understand.  For example, today the kids and I took school to go.  We went to church and enjoyed our language arts, math, spelling, and Bible outside!  So while on this huge field I had the chance to illustrate what Jesus it like.  "A relationship with Jesus is like this giant field.  You may go anywhere on this field but not past the boundary of that sidewalk."  When they ask "why", I could further illustrate.  "Because of the danger beyond the sidewalk."  "Oh!", they replied, "the cars driving on the road could hit us."  Exactly.  It was the first time I remembered this tip and the first I used it.  It really was wonderful to see their faces light up with joy and understanding.

Mawwiage

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove" - Priest on Princess Bride


Ah, yes, mawwage marriage.  Eleven years of marriage for us!  Eleven years of ups and downs and sideways and backwards and up again.  I love marriage.  I love being married.  I love my best friend.  No, it hasn't always been easy.  We have been through finishing college, financial hardship, miscarriages, surgeries, sick babies, moves, lots of moves, broken hearts, tears, disagreements, and disappointment.  Yet, by the grace of God, we have managed to work through all of it together and for that, we are stronger.  I love my husband more now than I ever have before.  He's like an appendage on my body.  I don't can't function when he's away.  We are a team.  We take on these crazy five people that we are raising (yes, our children but I like to refer to them differently from time to time).  And each new year, we grow stronger as a team.  So, to year ELEVEN!  Praying for so many more!!  Love you honey!  <3

MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)

So today was the first meeting of year 3 of MOPS!  We had a wonderful group of moms.  I'm so excited to see how these friendships form and grow as the year progresses.  Mothering alone is...well...lonely.  I decided a few years ago that I would not do it alone any longer.  I mean, I have my wonderful and amazing husband but having mom friends to share this journey with is such a treasure.  It is so wonderful to text my bestfriend and girlfriends to tell them how many poopy diapers I changed in the day.  Or to share my latest preschool activity discovery.  Friends make life fun.  And MOPS is just one avenue in meeting these new friends.  

One of our discussion questions was "What is the most important character trait of a friend."  Me, and a couple other moms, believe loyalty is the most important trait for a friend of mine to possess.  I look for friends who will be loyal to me, even when I fail them.  I am a transparent type of person so getting to know me means getting to know even my weaknesses and failures.  I love my bestfriend because she sees that in me and is still loyal to me.  That's what I need in a true friendship.  Plus laughter!  I love friends who can laugh at all the small things.  I think another great character trait is forgiveness.  Any relationship worth having is worth working on and that includes forgiving one another.  And above all, I look for love.  Love bears all!  

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to serve, along side my bestfriend, these wonderful moms in MOPS.  It is going to be a great year!!

Seeing Spots

Here's something that actually keeps my two-year-olds' attention for longer than 1 minute...stamping!  I bought a few Bingo markers from the Dollar Tree and let him go to town.  Here's is first, of many, masterpieces.

Even my one-year-old loved it!  (SMH!)

Preschool Activities

So, since I homeschool a 5th grader, 1st grader, and Pre-Ker, I am always looking for ideas to keep my two toddlers out of the toilet busy.  Found this website and love all the fun ideas!  Just had to share!! 2 Teaching Mommies  

Hello wonderful world of blogging

This would be my second third fourth attempt at blogging.  I'm not quite sure what continues to draw me to the world of blogging but here I am, again.  Let's see how successful this will be.  (Crickets chirping.)  Alright, I'm out.